seeing through the rainglass
Saturday, February 24, 2007
As I write this, I try to busy myself by sipping my coffee, hoping that the scalding heat would just take my mind off of the real pain I'm supposed to face now, but holding off till later. But as my bad luck would have it, even my simple pleasures won't give me the satisfaction of feeling relieved, or at least, distracted.
It's cold outside, and even colder inside this estranged coffee shop, and I keep brushing something off of my chest, but to no avail. My laptop is slowly draining its last bar, and I'm forced to think about what I have to do. I am restricted to saying this simple message: today, I died, just a little bit.
It's no surprise how I suddenly realize what I have, what I'm supposed to have, what I had (and had thrown away), as if it's all a big movie script waiting to happen on camera. Life sucks, and it's that simple. Sometimes it'll even rub it off in your face, just so you know how much wrong you've been doing.
BTW, it's a wrong choice to drink coffee when you're trying to calm down. Cigs are the alternative, but I don't do those. Now, I'm shaking like hell, I don't know if it's from the cold air conditioning or from pain and fear ( or both).
Crazy life I have to lead. Damn.
smiled at the sun again @ 10:28 PM,
